wake up i wanna do it froggy style
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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