8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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