Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
