I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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