Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Randomize
