sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
