who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize