Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
