plz talk dirty to me
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
