I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
