Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
