Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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