I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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