careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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