office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
