tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
