Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
