I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
