Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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