You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
