RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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