while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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