i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
