I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it hurts more in the daytime
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
