I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
