hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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