I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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