Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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