I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
