So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
