she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
