My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
