I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
