I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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