Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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