i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
