Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
