why didn't you poke me back
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
