just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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