I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
