Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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(916): View more from California

I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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(+47): View more from Norway

I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian

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(301): View more from Maryland

If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.

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(516): View more from New York

Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.

(575): View more from New Mexico

Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.

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(360): View more from Washington

You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.

(206): View more from Washington

That explains some things...

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