i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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