found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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