they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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