somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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