Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
