I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
