Ambien. No doubt about it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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