I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
