I got her a Nickelback box set.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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